We know work can be dull sometimes—well unless you are a movie star or a sex toy tester—with the same people every day, the same lunch, and same things to look at. So it comes as no surprise that more and more people are sneaking off to have a fun-filled hook-up somewhere in the building! So in honour of National Fun at Work Day and…well…because we are awesome, we have put together a handy guide to the best places at work to start really enjoying putting in that overtime.
On your desk
It’s familiar, it’s welcoming, and it’s a sturdy surface. What better place to kick off some workplace-based shenanigans than on your very own desk? Push the family photos to one side, steady yourselves on those boring document files, and bang away to your heart’s content! Just ignore the complaints of the rest of your team; it’s the first time they’ve spoken to you in weeks anyway.
In the elevator
Ping! The elevator offers some much-needed privacy for your workplace clothes-free shenanigans, and sometimes even some mirrors for you to enjoy. Remember to press the buttons to keep the doors closed and the elevator moving up and down through the floors, and you’ll get a good five minutes of knee-trembling in before either the fire department or security pry open the doors and catch you in ‘flagrante delicto’ with your coitus colleague.
In the boss’s office
Your boss has been giving you commands day after day, year after year, so now it’s time to issue some of your own, like ‘kiss me there’ or ‘do that faster.’ Enjoy the plush, spinning leather armchair and deep smell of mahogany as you roll around the place in the throes of illicit, paid-for passion. And don’t forget to smile through the window at the guys working in the building across the way. Bonus points if the person you are with is not your boss!
The lovely people behind that big desk in the lobby don’t get to see much, other than people walking in and out of a door all day, so give them something to enjoy in the form of you cashing a ‘pants-down paycheck’ at their feet. For added frisson, you could always use your cellphone to call reception while you’re going at it like rabbits, and when they answer, start giggling and say, ‘Don’t worry it’s just us down here!’ Then loudly orgasm in unison.
In a conference room
This works even better if you manage to find a conference room with a video phone, to really get that kinky feeling of being watched. Conference rooms often also have slightly frosted windows, so other people in the building can walk past thinking, ‘Are they… is that two people… surely they’re not…’ while not being completely sure what they’ve just seen. It’s probably best they don’t think about it.
In the basement
If all else fails and you and your horny, smart-suited companion have lucked-out everywhere else at work, just head for the basement. There you can go at each other like hungry woodpeckers amidst the clanging pipes, yellow cleaning buckets, and boxes of printer paper, while the 70-year-old janitor with a moustache stands around the corner, covering his ears and wondering when it’s safe to begin eating his sandwich again.
So there you have it—stop photocopying, and start fornicating! You’re getting paid for it! Ever got down and dirty at work? Did you get away with it? Was it worth the danger? tell us all in the comments.